12 year old trash talker4/6/2023 ![]() Unfortunately, this becomes a frame of reference for our kids. Become aware of your own inadvertent trash talk we don’t realize how we put each other down all the time, whether we are husband and wife or brother and sister. All of this might seem like it would go over the head of a typical ten-year-old, but we have found that when asked about this in an age-appropriate way, kids get this in fact, they really get it. That negativity, if you are his friend, could be turned on you at a moment’s notice. Obviously he has poor personal boundaries. It might seem at First that he’s tough and cool, but what he is really showing is that he is unpredictable and can’t be trusted. If a child is disrespectful to players on other teams, kids on his own team will back off. On a visceral level, when you behave that way, you reveal to your teammates that you are someone who could turn on them, too, at any moment. Kids play sports mostly to have fun and make friends, and trash talk does not lead to deep friendships. They may be funny or appear to be cool at a given moment, but that kind of behavior does not win you lasting friends. In fact, they are not impressive to anyone. He exposes the myth that such behavior elevates children’s stature in group settings. In his book Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, Michael Thompson discusses put-downs, exclusion, and bullying as a method to gain popularity. The more you trash talk, the more you signal to players on your team and other teams that you lack self-confidence.īe direct with your ten-year-old. The trash talkers, on the other hand, eventually end up as loners.Įxplain to your kids that the trash talkers on their team may appear to be confident but are often insecure underneath all that bravado, and it shows. Tell them that the kids who rise through the ranks to become leaders are the ones who care about their teammates and support them rather than undercut them. The leaders-the team captains-are respectful and care about their fellow players that’s why they are admired. Show us, anywhere, in any sport, a truly respected athlete who trash talks. Fast-talking put-down artists look tough and cool and dominant. Kids also assume that by engaging in put-downs and trash talk, they can improve their own social standing. It becomes a form of self-protection or defensive communication. For one thing, when a child sees that everyone around him is putting people down, he often figures he’s better of going on the offensive, too. Why do kids behave this way? They may be imitating others, but the current runs deeper. Trash talk really must be nipped in the bud, because it is the first stage in a spectrum of negative behavior that, in its extreme form, can lead to deeply awful antisocial actions. We see players and parents fight each other, vicious assaults on referees, and, in one extreme case, one parent who killed another during a dispute at a hockey arena. them” anti-communal behavior opens the door to bickering, brawling, and worse, as has become alarmingly apparent across America in recent years. When child-athletes and their parents dehumanize opponents in youth sports competitions, this “us vs. And, as we mentioned earlier, dehumanization, when left unchecked, can lead to much worse. Regardless of whether it’s on the court, on the playground, at home, or in a school corridor, it is a form of stylized dehumanization. It’s a form of social combat that can quickly lead to more dangerous exclusionary behavior. You mustn’t take these put-downs at face value they do more than just denigrate someone. It may be socially tolerated, but it shouldn’t be. It involves the subtle exclusion of an individual or small group of individuals. Trash talk is an integral part of the bullying, hazing, and teasing cycle. ![]() Kids imitate the antisocial behavior they see on television, pick up from adults, or witness from older kids at school. ![]() This is a societal problem, one that has reached epidemic levels in all sports. ![]() What can I do?ĭiscussion: You are not alone. Put-downs, dissing, and trash talk are a big part of my child’s team culture.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |